Friday, April 24, 2009

Prelude to a candidacy exam

I have never felt so tired before. I'm thisclose to getting gastritis due to my ridiculous caffeine consumption, and I'm physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.
Sometimes I just feel like this is not fucking worth all the trouble, because I'm terrified of failing this test. I admire every single one of my committee members, and really do fear under-performing on the exam.

My frontal lobe feels so heavy all the time, sometimes turning into a headache. My neck and arm muscles get all achy and it doesn't go away, no matter if I sleep. For the first time in 7 years, I'm having despairing thoughts.

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